MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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