he wants to bone in the snuggie
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Boobs speak an international language.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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