In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
