Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
