I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
