I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
