do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
