am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
