Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize