I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
