Christians are straight up FREAKS
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
