I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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