I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
