I can text with my tongue
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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