i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
