I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
