Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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