Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
