I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
