She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
