My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
