I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
This is not my ceiling
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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