She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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