considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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