Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
