he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
