i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Randomize
