Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
