What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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