Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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