nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
