Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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