ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
