you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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