bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
