u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Dignity is for republicans.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
