There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My first STD was from a foam party
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
