Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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