I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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