Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I love you.
Bad choice
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
