I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
