Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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