JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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