just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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