Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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