I must be too annoying 4 u.
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
