guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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