found the other keg... it's in the tree
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
