All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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