We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
