I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just saw a hot homeless man
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
