I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
