I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize